Peter Weber’s Bachelor finale left millions shaking their heads—at him and his meddling mom. But the franchise doesn’t have to keep going down this cringey, drama-filled road, says one septuagenarian fan: My mother, a 70-year-old former hippie, model and painter who lives in Boise, Idaho. After going to see “The Bachelor — Live on Stage,” a live touring game show event hosted by former Bachelorette Becca Kufrin and ex-Bachelor Ben Higgins, my mother has some insights to share with the The Bachelor producers and fans. Listen up, Bachelor Nation, my mom’s got something to say. 
My mom wasn’t psyched when Peter Weber was picked as 2020’s Bachelor lead. He seemed sweet enough, she said, but so…vanilla. Like many other fans, she had been rooting for the smiling, smoldering Mike Johnson from Hannah Brown’s season of The Bachelorette. After seeing The Bachelor — Live on Stage, she feels even more strongly that TV show should choose more diverse stars. (There has only been one lead of color in the show’s entire history, Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay.) For the live stage show, producers cast a local “Bachelor” and introduce him to several local “Bachelorettes” in a gameshow format. One thing my mom noticed about the cast at the Boise performance was how white they all were. Save for a single, solitary Asian woman, the entire cast was Caucasian. C’mon, it’s 2020 and within a couple generations fully half the country will be people of color. It’s time for The Bachelor to get with the program. 
Chris Harrison wasn’t lying when he said this would be “the most dramatic season” of the show, maybe ever. Not only was there the usual infighting, tears and heartbreak, but Peter’s season also showcased an angry future mother-in-law squaring off against a twentysomething contestant—in a display so cringey it was almost too much to take. My mom called the whole thing “sick emotional goop.” Even ex-Bachelorette co-hosts of the Bachelor Happy Hour podcast Becca Kufrin and Rachel Lindsay said they had to take viewing breaks to recover from all the bad juju. In contrast to the TV show, the live stage show was pure joy, says my mom. “The show didn’t take itself so seriously. It was completely fun and not sad,” she says. After watching a local Boise “bachelor” get paired up with a handful of local “bachelorettes” while hosts Kufrin and Higgins sang, danced and did comedy bits, “the whole audience walked out smiling.” (Rather than with their jaws on the floor, like when we watch the TV show.) 
When my mom first got into The Bachelor, she was reluctant to talk about it with anyone. It seemed like a dirty little vice that no smart, modern woman could possibly enjoy. But she is one and she did! Seeing so many similarly intelligent men and women enjoying the stage show made her realize how huge Bachelor Nation really is. The Las Vegas tourism board’s brilliant “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” campaign made gambling and carousing seem like a totally fine and normal thing for respectable people to do. What’s The Bachelor’s version? 
As you might expect, the “real people” bachelor and bachelorettes who were part of the live show in Boise, ID, weren’t as model-gorgeous and glamorous as the ones who get cast on the TV show. When I asked my mom if she’d like to see more normies on the television version she laughed. “I know I should say yes, but looking at really pretty people is part of the fun!” What she did love about the stage-show casting was that the contestants came in different shapes and sizes. There’s never been a plus-size (or even average-size) female contestant on The Bachelor. With 67 percent of American women wearing a size 14 or larger and the body-positive movement now firmly part of modern culture, the exclusion isn’t just unfair, it’s starting to feel retro. 
The audience at The Bachelor — Live on Stage was about three-quarters women. Not a shocker. But my mom was surprised by how many other older women were there. “The average age was probably women in their 30s and 40s,” she says. But she had an enlightening conversation with two fellow Boomers during intermission. “I asked one if she watches the TV show every week and she looked sort of ashamed and said, ‘Unfortunately, yes I do…’ I said ‘What are you talking about?! This is the most fun thing to watch! And she loosened up and admitted that yes, it is,” my mom told me. If those rumors that ABC is casting a Bachelor-like dating show for the over-60 set, she’ll watch. (As will I!) 
“Watching the live show with others was awesome,” my mom says. “Everyone was rambunctious, there were hoots and howls. Everyone was so happy to be there. It was really cute.” It made her wish that there were more opportunities to get together with other Bachelor fans. Sure, we can throw our own watching parties on Monday nights, but doing something Bachelor Nation-approved has a bit of a special sparkle. 
My step dad bought tickets to the Bachelor stage show as an anniversary gift for my mom. He doesn’t watch the TV version as faithfully as she does, but he’s interested enough to pop in and get recaps. And clearly, to squire her to the live show. My mom said that there were plenty of husbands and boyfriends in the audience, and some groups of all-male friends too. Makers of the TV version: Keep the guys in mind when planning your challenges, dates and orchestrating the on-camera drama. 
“I had no idea Ben Higgins was so funny or charming,” my mom says. “You don’t really get to see The Bachelor stars’ personalities on TV.” On stage, Higgins and Kufrin absolutely sparkled, she said. But on their individual TV show seasons, viewers never got to see those loose and truly charming sides to them. Her advice to producers? Relax the “formatting” and rigid structure of the TV show a bit, and give fans more behind the scenes playfulness and real talk. We’ll care and watch even more than we already do. 
The Bachelor Live stage show reminded my mom of retro relationship game shows like The Dating Game and Chuck Woolery’s Love Connection. Part of what she liked so much about the live show was the humor, something that’s often sorely missing from the often-serious, always dramatic television version. “They had the contestants dancing, singing, doing all kinds of awkward things and it was so much fun. The contestants were having a blast and so were we.”
